nothing to blog abouts, but it is the beginning of Lent. this time i'm pushing myself to do more of something instead of 'giving up' a food. well doing more is kind of like giving up things. you're giving yourself up basically. see, less of yourself, selfless. anyway, i've been having those type of issues anyway where i've been really immature and selfish about things... but....i'm working on it. having a semi-good week so far, along with stress from school, but afterschool is nevertheless fun too. cannot wait for the weekend. cannot wait for summer. cannotcannot.



note to self: golden rule is key.

awe.

btw, happy belated birthday christopherjaron, you old eighteen year old man.

such boundless pressure

we've no time for later now
you can't await your own arrival
you've 20 seconds to comply.

for me. ergh.

S.A.D. day yesterday

more like, CUTE day even though i didn't have a valentine. i ended up watching he's just not that into you with my second family, the guerreros. i finally got to see the end. cute ending, especially ben affleck. kicked it at her house for a good 4 hours. then i eventually ended up going all over the place for late night trip to LA with the boys plus jerilynn. off to santa monica pier! ah pretty, with the cute ferris wheel. then pink's at 3am (which really isn't that bomb cept the onion rings. haha, thanks stan). knocked out at jerilynn's. then cabico and anthony dropped me off home super early. sleepy.

and now i'm sitting at home, lazy, reading fmylife.com with jaron. but i should be cleaning my room and clothes and starting homework. but nooo, im lazy. i'm not really in the mood for going out right now, with the rain pouring. i'm gonna be a fat, lazy woman when i'm older.

so i woke up with a sore throat and my body was all heated with headaches to go along with that. i have not moved an inch this morning :( whateva, that's what i get for sleeping so late all the time.

well, my weekend was great, just what i needed to end my week, minus all the...other shit. but i won't talk about that. saturday was cute! youth rally meeting, i sang. christina said, "it's okay if the Lord doesn't like your voice, He'll change it!" haha i don't know why i thought that was funny, but...thass cooooo. after drove to benihana for elyssa's birthday, and ohmy, it was me, marie, elyssa, and janelle. WTFWTF, my beautiful sisters reunited again! waited 3 mothaeffin hours to sit down, had some girl talks. it was so cute, we haven't been together like that since...middle school. i swear we're so grown up now. i've known these girls since we were in sixth grade. anywho, we went to watch 'he's just not that into you' after cus uh yknow... i can't watch that scary movie shit. hahaha. i liked that movie...cept i didn't even get to finish it though :( but after cabicooooo picked me and janelle up, then picked up jazmyn. i was really mad on the way going there. but whatever, it's done.. arrived at chelsea's sister's party. it was chill. all those kids are cute, fun people :) didn't end up leaving till like 4 or 5. s'okay though, i had some good bonds with new friends :) sunday morning though was a different story. i was tired as fahk. had to pass by some nogales basketball game for a quick sec, then ate at the boat.

7th grade- 11th grade






















my mom said not to post this up anywhere, but...

straight up

stop using me. THANKS. not letting anyone drag me around ever again. i'm not your babysitter.

i'll update later on my life.

not a friend nor a fiend

so something i've been tryna avoid blogging about was my "personal thoughts" just cause i didn't wanna let the whole world in on them, but effit y'know. i'm human, i got some problems of my own too. i guess i was just looking at my old blogspot, and i was like yeah..might as well share some thoughts of mine because who knows if someone is going through the same situation as me, but lately, i've been noticing how much our feelings take total control of us: how we act, how we talk, how we plan our day. it's only inevitable to let our feelings get the best of us. honestly, feelings aren't our friend neither are they a fiend. sure, being happy, being content with your life is always great, but sadness and all that should never bring you to an all-time low. trust. i'm still in the process of leaving all of that bitterness behind me.

so just saying though as a reminder to myself and others, that it's faith versus feelings. "Emotions fluctuate wildly. God’s word is solid. And the only way anyone can be a solid Christian is to ignore feelings and hold on to that word."

what a waste. haha i have a digital camera, and i barely even use it. i think i'll use it today.

but, wow anyway yesterday was....gay. the rain was killing my day. but i got starbucks with marie and maria, and then me and marie went to the justo lamas show. HAHAHAH we thought that the caffeine would yknow boost us up...but we died down by the time the show even started. cannot believe we even went to that. HAHA. anyways after that, went home. got a random visit from missy and stan at like 2am haha. i couldn't even fall asleep till 4 after they left. insomniac.

SO idkkkk whassup for today. youth rally meeting then HOPEFULLY, we can go out for elyssa's birthday, but she's in trouble right now, so i don't know :( and i guess i'm chilleeeen with reneface and janelleface tonight. the rain is making me not wanna go out right now. it's dampers my mood when i go outside and my hair gets all sticky and salty and gross :(

"A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. 'Never leave that 'til tomorrow,' he said, 'Which you could do today.' This is the man who discovered electricity. You’d think more of us would listen to what he had to say. I don’t know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I’d say it had a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure. Fear of pain. Fear of rejection. Sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you’re wrong. What if you make a mistake you can’t undo. Whatever it is we're afraid of, one thing holds true. That by the time the pain of not doing the thing gets worse than the fear of doing it. It can feel like we're carrying around a giant tumor. And you thought I was speaking metaphorically."
-Meredith, Grey's Anatomy

i miss that show.

anyway, nothing new happening today :[ i just have a lot of time on my hands today. happy birthday to elyssssssa marcelo! i'm glad to have shared 5 years of my life with you, from our 6th grade choir days to 11th grade...hahaha ohmy, we have grown. i am telling you we need to see N.E.R.D. this weekend for your birthday ;)

yesterday i signed up for a scholarship from best buy, but i doubt i'll get it. i mean seriously 1/10000000 people and only 1000 people get chosen. good grades and good community service? all i put down was a 3.75 and 250 hours of community service. WHATEVA.

setting things straight

i cannot and will not make you a priority of my life.

tumtums

my tumtums hurts. so i figured out why i've been so emo all week, it was all pms. HAH. yeah rene, so you can stop being mean about how i was all week. (btw, miss you bestfriend). but anyways, i should be studying right now for my history test, but i ain't. cus. i'm lazy.

eh yesterday was alright, cept my driving instructor killed my day. she only makes me feel worse about how much i suck at driving. "if you made as many good decisions as you did bad, you'd be one good driver." okay bitch, i know i suck, i've only been driving for a month -_- haha whatever. two more sessions with her and i don't have to deal with her anymore. after, topher picked me up. visited bestfriend, went to lollicup, got boba. went to the youth rally meeting for a bittt, saw some old faces, and new faces :) then went with marie and krystal to westcovina for crisselle's birthday :) aw it was like a confirmation class reunion: uhlissuh, crisselle, alfred, bestfriend, jeanelle and me. cuuuuuute. her fams is cute too. then back to diamond bar with mahhhree.

school tomorrow though.