good weekend.

On friday, was the rally. I'm pretty sure the only reason i loved that rally was because of The Push (well, only red cardigan). Hahaha t-t-teach me how to jerk. Fools were CUTE. Then stayed forever at yearbook...yearbook car going home. HAHA. Thank you Richmond. Got homes, went out with Pauline and Jeff to pass by this party in WestCovina. Boringest thing in life, but I saw everyone there so that's prolly the only positive thang about that. Saturday was Youth Rally! Good turn out this year. Shoutouts to MHCC thoughhh!

I will post up piiics, when I am done with this Spanish homework :(

Yesterday was my bestfriend's birthday! No pics because my camera didn't even have the battery in it :( But t'was chill, my plans for her were a kind of success. I called every one the night before to see if they were down to go eat sushi. Haha. Took forever, but whateva her birthday. So yeah, Alfred pick meh up, picked Elyssa and Dean up, and then went to ghettoass Domo.. then we were like eff this. So, we went to Akasaka, fail, no money. Then to Coconut Bay, success :) Cutes. Bill was CHEAP. Fasho. $39 for six people, cheap!

Anywho, I am currently watching 13 going 30, super cute movie. Jennifer Garner is so full on life. Makes me wanna go back to the care-free days of elementary school :( Boo.

Well, doesn't this just get harder and harder as the days go by? It's really hard to put up a front. Really hard. After that whole breakdown, I realized how pathetic I am with being single. Sometimes I find myself counting the days since November. Maybe because I wanna see how far I've come and really grown from this? Or really believe that it's never gonna be the same? I have no clue why I do this, but I realize I shouldn't.

The more I try to be your "friend," the more I see... that what we had was all a joke. A big joke, actually. Never would I have thought that 'us' would just turn into 'I don't wanna talk to you.' I swear until this very day, that I'm still tryna convince myself that my 2 and half years with you was a mere experience, but I really can't help but see it as one fucking lie. Like damn, 5 months into the single life, and you're set...Fuck, Alyssa.

Then again on the flip side... what am I doing.
Hell no, should I be caring about you.
Hell no. I will not let this get in the way of everything I could have right now.
I swear... I will continue to tell myself I am better than this....